介紹評分原則的基礎(chǔ)上,我們來對比實例,,看看4分、6分和8分作文(注意:雅思寫作小分滿分9,,越高越好)之間的差距到底在哪里,。有比較才能有鑒別,知道了好作文好在哪里,,也就能模仿著寫出好文章了,。PS 輔導(dǎo)班大概會講無數(shù)套路或者模板,但其實這種對比的繁瑣工作最有效,,備考者能靈活運用的話,,1篇足夠。只不過備考者不愿意看,、覺得無用浪費時間,,沒有市場自然就沒人做資料;也算是作繭自縛吧,。
Task 2:
Write about the following topic:
Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However,some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.
Why is shopping so popular?
What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals andon society?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
各位讀者請花一點時間,,自己列一個提綱或者先寫一篇,然后自己去思考對比各等級作文是否滿足評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),、在多大程度上滿足,。最后拿著自己的同時看后面分析會更有效果。不愿意浪費時間的話也沒關(guān)系,,反正我已經(jīng)學(xué)會了~
4分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_4.pdf)
6分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_6.pdf)
8分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_8.pdf)
寫作任務(wù)回應(yīng),。開頭第一段,,8分不走尋常路,除了第一句引入,,剩下一個大段都在回應(yīng)第一個任務(wù),,人為啥喜歡逛街。6分作文就很像常見套路的introduction了,,引入話題 總領(lǐng)下文,;第一個寫作任務(wù)在第二段回應(yīng)。? 回應(yīng)各部分寫作任務(wù),,check,。但是,兩者對寫作任務(wù)的回應(yīng)程度一樣嗎,,或者說有沒有某一部分論證充分另一部分相對弱,?這個我們先擱置,放在后面講,。4分作文開啟了侃大山跑火車模式,,考官應(yīng)該非常開心地看了開頭然后給了殘酷的分。
語法多樣性及準(zhǔn)確性,。請用改錯的心態(tài)去看6分作文,,有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)語法錯誤?如果沒有,,那一定要去加強語法知識的學(xué)習(xí)和敏感度,,不然的話寫作得分堪憂啊。
Shopping as a leisure activity is an issue that arouses(arouses這個詞6分作者拼錯了,,寫成了araises,,注意還暴露了想用arises這個不及物動詞,正確用法只能是problems arise,??脊伲河迷~不準(zhǔn)確啊,扣分!)endlessdebates(原文是an endlessdebates,,這里數(shù)字不一致,,有a 又有復(fù)數(shù),一個辯論們,?要么是endless debates,,要么是an endless debate??脊伲赫Z法錯誤,,扣分!). There are, therefore, manyarguments about positive and negative effects(這句沒事). In this essay I am writing to talk about(原文寫的是writing to about,兩個詞組搭配走串門了嘿,要么是write about 要么是write to talk about,??脊伲河皱e了,給我殺,! ) the reasons of shopping's popularity and effects on individual andon society(這里有個不能算錯的地方,,雖然是并列結(jié)構(gòu),但第二個on一般省略更地道,,不省也不能算錯).
對于6分作文,,想要開門見山,結(jié)果開門見山崖,,三個語法錯誤把自己掉大坑,。語法準(zhǔn)確度沒了,多樣性呢,?簡單句為主,,第一段一個that引導(dǎo)的定語從句,第二段一個who引導(dǎo)的定語從句和when引導(dǎo)的時間狀語從句,。不能說不好,,只是相形見絀。
看看8分作文開頭,,不犯錯 句句亮點完虐:Shopping is very popular among the majority of the population(同義替換people,,同理下文所有,符合詞匯豐富標(biāo)準(zhǔn)), despite(一個高級詞匯,,表示“不論”,,可以與regardless替換) their age and social standards. Thisis due to the fact that(名詞性從句下的同位語從句,fact 在主句中做due to 的賓語,,that后面的一整個句子是fact的同位語,解釋說明“是什么樣的fact”,,fact在從句中不擔(dān)任語法角色,,且引導(dǎo)詞必須是that、不能省略,。. Thisis due to the fact that 從句這個句型非常好用,,在說明原因的時候一定要用,代替because,。PS despite和fact結(jié)合的話會是什么,?)most people find shopping as an experience which makes a difference in(搭配正確,difference in) their day to day life(同義替換rountine,、daily life). Some people find themselves in adifferent world, surrounded by(surrounded是非謂語,,表示人們被包圍的含義,也可以理解成形容詞或者定語從句省略;注意非謂語surrounded的主語和主句主語是同一個才是正確的,。不是同一個怎么辦,?可以用with ,可以用從句,,可以用懸垂結(jié)構(gòu),。) various material things which they may or may not be able to purchase. Even if they are not able to finance this(finance符合詞匯豐富的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),同義替換了buy,、purchase,,還可以用afford;this指代詞,,有效連貫和銜接的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn),;同理下一句those、全篇的they,、it,、some等), they find much pleasure in looking and feeling those things.and imagining owing them some day(-ing做賓語的三并列;owing 是having的同義替換,,更高級正式的書面語 ). Some people go shopping when they really want to purchase things and they prefer to look around and compare the prices before buying them(非謂語/時間狀語從句省略). I think most people love to go shopping because(原因狀語從句) they could meet friends, make contacts with people and get to know what(賓語從句) is in the latest trend. It provides them a pleasant distraction from their routines and sometimes dull life(provide和distraction的搭配正確,、詞義恰當(dāng)且不常見的高級詞匯).
這么一看,8分作文的四個評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)都比6分高出一大截啊,,得分高也是實至名歸,。貨比貨得扔,人比人得……還不能死,,先把作文提高了~如果能不犯錯6分作文可以向7分看齊,;所以如果提高到8分很艱難,那么就從“少犯錯 一兩個亮點”做起~ 后面的部分,,大家自己分析能不能搞定呢,?